The Abnormal Normalcy Of Shul During Coronavirus [HUMOUR]

Next question: with the social distance requirements, plus wearing of masks, how does one talk in shul so that the next-closest person can hear?

Congregants will certainly get creative (as actor Jeff Goldblum famously said, “schmooze, uh, finds a way.”) We may soon see a surge in shul charades (“sounds like, four syllables, five words, film – no, no, not One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest!”).

Perhaps sign language classes will see an up tick, for all those who need to kibbitz about the latest gossip. Caution: don’t sign when it’s time for aliyah auctions – the hands in the air could easily be mistaken for a $1,000 kavod (honour), and now you’re on the hook for a thousand bucks, when all you wanted to do is tell your buddy the score of the Raptor’s game.

Onto the kiddish, the gorge-fest where people scoop up portions like it’s an all-you-can-eat buffet going out of business in ten minutes.

With Coronavirus, this unmitigated savagery may become a thing of the past – especially when little Joey Horschenfeldenstein keeps grabbing the potato chips with his fingers, while dropping some back in en route to his face. (We’re not even going to discuss double-dipping; don’t get me started).