Sidura Ludwig’s “You Are Not What We Expected” Is A Multi-layered Exploration Of Personalities And Struggle

The topics are difficult ones; estranged parents and children, divorce and abandonment, drug use and gender transitions, and illness. Ludwig tackles them all with a clear eye, but considerable empathy and kindness, showing not the sound bites we would see in the news, but the way that such topics play a part in our daily lives and conversations. These are the bones of our families and societies, exposed and gently juxtaposed without any real judgment. They simply are a part of the lives of the families in the neighborhood, explored as the years pass and children grow up into adults trying to unravel their own past; cycles aren’t broken, as much as understood.

Ludwig’s writing style is lush in its attention to detail, and the way she engages all the senses. She calls to mind not just the sights but the sounds of smells of everyday life, the feel of a material in our hands. She transports us into a world that is entirely too real, as echoes of people we have known can be recognized in a cantankerous great-uncle or an abusive sibling.

There is no conclusion that lays bare the villains or the heroes. Much as in real life, where we are the heroes and the villains, depending on who tells the story; the glimpses we get of the characters shift that judgment call with every story. A powerful book to read, that will generate some important conversations.